Now I can fill in the ____.

From the moment I decided not to take year out a few months back, I know I need to convince myself of my choice in order to enjoy the dissertation and survive through my Masters. I need to reason it out with myself like I always do. I make this decision because _____. I'd never want the blank to be 'everyone else do so' or 'this is the best among the worst'. Never. Not in this case, and never will I allow this answer to appear anytime in my life.

I had several answers for the blank but when I finally see the whole picture and feel comfortable and most importantly, convinced and very driven to work towards that goal, it was, ironically, after a sharing session by a local architecture firm.

That session made me realised what I don't want to do, although I signed up for the talk hoping I can land myself a job/internship somehow. I remember walking out of the seminar room feeling very lost and confused. I kept asking myself what exactly do I want to do and how can I generate more than just a stable income with what I'd like to do.

For the next two hours I sat down and thought very carefully about my future. I have the slightest hint of what I want to pursue but it was still challenging to form a complete sentence at that time. I went to look at websites that I'd often seek inspirations from, things that some people do which always earn my admiration and achievements of certain people whom I idolised.

Then I started drawing out my own path very carefully. To have the freedom to follow one's passion is very important to me but being a typical Singaporean, I also added in the practical factor and the waste-no-time-attitude to make sure that my dream this time is not another bubble waiting to be burst.

I felt as though I was revived! I finally understood why I did some things and I convinced myself of the decisions I will be making in the near future. I shared my excitement with David later that day and we discussed even further, making more potential plans and ideas for myself, himself and ourselves to realise in the coming years.

He told me that he was very glad that Im thinking about the future. He was glad that I have a mind of my own. He likes the fact that we share a same vision in life - that everyone should have a goal, that financial planning is not too early to start now, that for everything we want to achieve tomorrow, we need to do all the hard work today.

It all started with me, myself and I. My future, my goals, my life. I was already enlightened and smiling at my future but when I see the genuine happiness on his face by the end of the day, I realised the happiest thing that day was to be able to pursue what I want and by doing so, simply by being myself, makes this person happy. Then I realised I could comprehend what the actors always say, "... to love you for who you are."

I have my future, and so does David. We have our different responsibilities to shoulder while he has his goals to achieve and I have my dreams to pursue. To stay focused and work hard for our future is easier when we have each other as a motivation. We have since changed a little here and there in our habits and lifestyles. I am so, so proud of this relationship. It cannot be seen nor heard; only felt, but it is so powerful, so powerful that it could change us and watch us grow.

I have no idea where this essay will lead to if I go on and on. I started writing because I had so much thoughts over the past few months. I guess somehow, subconsciously, I can't leave David out of the picture when I thought about the future.

This entry was not created with any intention but I will be honoured if you are inspired to think about your future or start working hard too after reading this random post!